THE NORMALITY OF “POSH” HOTELS

I have been to a lot of hotels, and some enjoy the perception of being posh. One, the Central in Glasgow where I am pictured relaxing before dinner would be deemed posh as it served Champagne. However, unlike the Ivy in Kings Road, Chelsea where I bagged a free glass of champers, at the Central no such luck. I didn’t pay for the said champagne as it was a gift but paid for overnight accommodation. It was a good deal which actually is more common to obtain at so called posh hotels than many expect. A week ago, while in London I visited the Old War Office which has been converted to a Raffles Hotel where I could have got an overnight stay for only £1500. A bargain!

People are put off entering some hotels as their entrance seems guarded by stern door attendant (and women). I have always found that if one maintains a certain level of confidence and stroll in as if you own the place then all staff will be nice and open doors for you. At the Old War Office, I was told where I could go and what was out of bounds. Thankfully accessing the toilets was permissible. Nice towels, real and fluffy!

I have enjoyed afternoon tea at the Savoy, wandered around the Ritz and Claridge and never had anyone threaten me or question what I am doing. Most of these hotels have wonderful art and I always admire that. The floral arrangements are absolutely beautiful so who wouldn’t want to gaze at these? I always say hello to the door staff when they open the doors for me. Some might feel intimated, but I think it helps to maintain eye contact and be honest why one is there. Not completely upfront maybe so skip the reason for popping in to use the toilet!

A couple of hotels, namely the Savoy and Clarridges have been featured on TV so that is always a good starting point to strike up conversations with staff. I remember a few years ago getting my photograph take at the entrance of Clarridges with the door attendant who became famous for being on TV. At the Savoy after a family event, I found myself exploring various levels of the building was surprised to find the rear entrance which led out to the Thames. I was more surprised to bump into TV and Radio personality Andrew Neil.

I have stayed in a couple of so called “posh” hotels and remember the Beardmore in Glasgow which is situated right next to a hospital. Handy I suppose if one had food poisoning! My room which I shared with Janice; my wife had two of everything. Two showers, two baths but only one bottle of wine left for us! A hotel I stayed in Wales even had a TV in the bathroom!

I have fond memories and so does my bottom of using the toilets at the hotel in the Shard near London Bridge. Reason being is that they employed heated toilet seats!!! Mustn’t let you think that life is all about toilets and posh hotels and that I have a fetish on toilet geography. Mind you I did get on a bus at Glasgow heading for Inverness where the driver announced issues with the on-board toilet meant no solids! I misheard this and thought it was an order like being in hospital where one could only drink liquids. Man, that was a long journey for my bladder!

So, my recommendation from a Travelodge fan is get out there and visit as many “posh” hotels as possible but probably best not to mention my name!