CHILDISH BEHAVIOUR

In my experience it’s the parents that you have to watch. Doesn’t matter how many signs I have in my workshop about not touching glass in case its hot and burnt flesh results, it’s the adults that ignore this direction. Maybe kids are too scared to touch or too sensible as they can work out for themselves when the glass goes in the flame and then comes out it must be hot. Children twig pretty earlier on about this but oh dearie me the parents are on a different planet. They just wade in without thinking and think they are superpowers with asbestos flesh. Surprise, surprise when they yell in pain as they burn themselves on glass straight out the flame.

Children can be a liability and never more so than at craft fayres. Many’s the time I have nearly clinched a deal with a customer when their child creates a diversion by screaming its head off and so the customer has to leave me (and the unbought goods) to rush to little “Johnny’s” aid. I never have any hot glass to hand though in these situations.

Of course, children are inquisitive, and I know this from my nearly forty years of being a Beaver Scout Leader. They ask the sort of questions that an adult would never imagine asking. Why is the flame hot, what is glass and how do you become a glass artist? These are just a few of the many questions posed by the youngsters. All the adults want to know is, how much? They might add to this a few questions on can they get it cheaper.

Similar to craft fayres is my experience with art exhibitions where kids play games around priceless sculptures. I had some glass on show in one exhibition where several school kids were daring on each other by sliding on the well polish floor to see how close they could get to the plinth without knocking anything off. Another popular game is jumping up and down as close as possible to a sculpture to see how large a wobble could be created. I suppose that is a bit creative and if recorded in film then would attract grants galore!

One of my first experience with children at my glassblowing demonstrations was at a local school. Lots of kids here which is to be expected since it was a school. In fact, the kids outnumbered the adults at least ten to one. As I started by lighting my burner, I felt the table I was working on beginning to wobble. I realised that a couple of kids were rattling the front edge of the table and the wobble got bigger and bigger until I felt I was working in an earthquake. I turned the angle of my burner down towards the level of the kids’ hairlines and zapped the flame large. This created an effect a bit like a yet engine blowing off and oh how I laughed when the kids screamed and run away. No wobbles then and obviously no children or in fact anyone was hurt in this devilish behaviour. This happened years ago before freedom was questioned and of course I wouldn’t do that again. I mean to say I have grown up now.

I have always wanted to be a kid. OK I was once, but I would have loved never to have grown up and become restricted by development. When I do glassblowing demos for groups, I always ask the children what they want me to make. Whatever they shout out I make. So, it’s not unusual for me to start making a small glass tree and then responding to requests add a key, a wheel, a finger, a beanburger smile, a piece of pocket money, some wee, poo of course and even a willy! Some kids are so basic but no matter what they ask for it doesn’t phase me. I just get on with it. I wish that spirit survives the educational system but sadly I have seen this spontaneity knocked out of people. Heart-breaking and would make a grown man cry. Thankfully, that’s not moi.

Spelling and grammar are so overrated as well. Thought I would just throw that into the equation. Kids have it about right when they just put thoughts down on paper then when you try and reason with them where a full stop should go you get a load of abuse. I get it who cares as long as the meaning gets through to the reader.