WE DON’T NEED NO e-LEARNING!

Another musically linked title. This time I bow to the Floyd of the Pink variety. The e-learning ref relates to my experience doing online training for the Scout movement. I am a Beaver Scout leader and have to renew training every so often. No problem with that and at times have enjoyed the interaction between others on training course. Ahhhh but then it all changed where I have to fend for myself and master a cursor with a mind of its own and click multiply choices boxes that I can’t find on my monitor. What’s this got to do with glass? Nothing really, other than to confirm within me those practical skills like manipulating glass rod and tubing in an open fire is purely delightful.

When it comes to education then a teacher can be found not too far away. Children usually go to school and move classes every so often. This maybe an annual event and depends on how clever a child is. The really clever children have clever parents. They are so clever they know how to get on the good side of a teacher. Gifts, gifts and more gifts. We all know about bring an apple for the teacher works but once eaten where’s the memory? No, ignore nature and invest in art and that’s why I have made loads of glass apples for teachers.

The way it works is that about June each year I get asked to make something for little Jimmy’s teacher. Of course, there isn’t a real Jimmy, I just made that name up and really, I should refer to they. Regardless I offer customers a choice of typically teacher-based items. Popular are small glass blackboards on an easel. Clear glass painted black. But what do I write on the glass? I quite like engraving on clear glass with the reverse being painted black. Most popular is a sum or two. Once or twice, I have been asked to engrave love hearts or abusive words, but those carefree days have long gone now.

After school comes universities although in my case it was working hard in a job. Still for those that have managed to avoid work focusing on nurturing a career then if they have been lucky, they might graduate. This involves a ceremony where students get the chance to wear weird hats. I think these are known as mortar boards. God knows why as I thought mortar boards were used by builders to mix cement on. Its easy to make a glass figure in a gown and mortar board. Just a flat piece of glass on a person’s head. Technically the challenge is not to fuse too much the flat glass on the round head since one ends up with a blob. If you don’t fuse enough, then glass will crack resulting in two blobs! Since I use clear glass then to create authenticity, I have to paint the glass black. If one views a figure form a certain angle, then the black mortar gives the impression the student has a black head. Must be like acne me thinks and will be fine if you don’t pick it.

It is said that the owl symbolises wisdom. Again, it’s one of those sayings that I have no idea where it originates. So, what and who cares? I make a few owls and enjoy creating texture on the smooth surface of glass. For completeness I add a scroll under a wing. I have actually made glass scrolls using glass tubing but maintaining a smooth surface to engrave on is tricky. I made a scroll once that was so uneven every other word I engraved disappeared. The message certainly wasn’t clear and read: “Awarded the student the. Congratulations all glass especially Prof”.

Reflecting on the e-learning aspect of this blog. I have made awards for those lucky people who have completed an online course. For devilment I have made a glass computer complete with keyboard and mouse. Only thing is I make a real mouse (well not really real as it made of glass). For one sculpture in an exhibition then I added a piece of glass cheese next to the mouse. It was a two-week exhibition and on the second day someone had place a piece of real cheese next my glass one. It was during the second week that the gallery started to smell a bit off. By the time it was the last day and the exhibition closed visitors were wearing facemasks and not just for anti-covid precautions.

The one aspect of e-learning which can be confusing is the awarding of certificates. When I have taught lampworking sessions at North Lands Creative presenting each student with a certificate is always an important part of the course. Easy face to face but online? Tricky and in the past, I have had to save, paste, copy, print, re-print, add toner, buy toner, clear up mess after toner spilt and generally faff around. Ah I hear you say do it all online, but I have yet to learn how to sign my name online. For me the best training has to be face to face. I can’t email flames and glass rod to teach students. I have been burnt by certain emails though so maybe all is not yet lost for me!